With the end of Thanksgiving, or for some even the end of Halloween, comes a long fought, noble battle against those who would seek to strip joy from the most merry. Yes, I’m talking about those who insist that there is a War on Christmas (Has this been trademarked yet?), that their holiday is somehow reduced by anyone who won’t utter the words Christmas.  

Well my weary friends, fear not. I come here, like the messenger to the town square, to tell you that the time has come to lay down your red cups and wreaths, Christmas has been dealt a blow that it can’t recover from: in 2025, Hanukkah will happen twice. 

Yes, you read that correctly! TWICE! 

For the uninitiated into the tribe (or the initiated who still have to google “when is Hanukkah this year” – no judgment), Jewish holidays follow the Hebrew calendar in which the months follow the cycles of the moon, while the years follow the cycles of the sun. Thanks to some complicated math by our ancestors in which a whole leap month is added every seven years, the Hebrew calendar stays roughly aligned with the Gregorian calendar that we are more familiar with, but the variation each year can be anything from a few days to nearly a month. 

I invite you now to pause reading this and do a deep dive on the Jewish calendar, because it contains some really fascinating insights into how a nomadic, agricultural society kept time. 

Musak playing…

Now that you’re back from a Wikipedia rabbit hole, let’s return to the matter at hand. 

This year, Hanukkah takes center stage by beginning at sundown on Christmas day. To the horror of Fox News hosts everywhere, it is correct and appropriate to say “Happy Holidays” or “Happy Hanukkah” instead of or in addition to “Merry Christmas! ALL SEASON LONG!” 

Not to mention that unlike previous years when Jewish children were left to ponder the conundrum of Santa Claus (If he’s real then how does he know to only deliver presents to the Christian children? Does he do a genealogy test? Is Santa just the world’s biggest antisemite?), this year they will be too busy playing dreidel and eating chocolate coins to feel neglected by the grown man breaking into all of their classmates’ homes overnight. Am I projecting my own childhood feelings onto the entirety of my people? Maybe. That’s between me and my therapist. 

More importantly, let’s not forget that Hanukkah is eight days long. Meaning that as Christmas is winding down (for all but the most religious who might try to argue that they’ve got 12 Days of Christmas), Hanukkah is only just getting started. And sorry to say, but we Jews are actually commanded to party for the full eight days, so we WILL be making a big deal about it. 

Which brings us to the final blow, the secret power that is only unlocked when the planets align (cue the start of a new antisemitic conspiracy theory claiming that Jews have super powers charged by planetary motion), this year Hanukkah doesn’t come to an end until sundown on January 2, 2025. Meaning that it will do what Christmas never can – it will happen twice in one year. 

As we eat and drink by the warm glow of the fully lit menorah on January 2, and as those who’s custom it is to exchange presents, tear the wrapping paper off the last gifts, we will do so joyfully, basking in the main character energy that our chaotic calendar brings and knowing that we get Hanukkah again later in the year! 

So the next time you find yourself itching to get into an unnecessary argument online about the “War on Christmas,” remember that this year is our year.