I can remember the moment my heart sank when I discovered that my (Bar Mitzvah) parashah—a section from Exodus known as Mishpatim—was a long list of laws about the treatment of slaves and what to do with your neighbor’s lost ox should you see it wandering. But I pity any poor twelve-year-old child who is saddled with this portion, Tazri·a, and reads it for the first time. It is a list of dos and don’ts for any leprosy sufferer. Could there be any less meaningful chunk of the Bible?

Jamie Glassman is a writer and actor, known for Da Ali G Show (2000), The Brothers Grimsby (2016) and Brüno (2009).